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Gay Weddings in China?

Gay Weddings in China?

Posted by on Oct 24, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

Gay Weddings in China?

Gay Weddings in China? It does not seen possible anytime in the near future. USA and the 24 other countries that recognize gay marriage on our planet. 175 Counties prohibit it. (Source Wikipedia, 10/18)

As we celebrate 3 years of equality in the USA, many tend to forget the widespread discrimination, torture, and murder of gay women and men elsewhere.

In China, discrimination of LGBT people is increasing. Although China may portray itself as “upcoming modern”,  forced shock therapy still exists as does job loss, housing discrimination and media censorship.Many Chinese families and parents ban gays from their family unless they recant their  preference. According to the Human Right Campaign (HRC) 8o% to 90% of gays are married to the opposite sex because of this treatment in China.

All this homophobia in China is interesting. In China’s past, dynasty’s accepted homosexuality with graphic art and written history documenting homosexuality as being accepted, and as a way of life.When England took over much of China in the 1839 war, and western thinking took hold, the Chinese adopted their Victorian way of thinking about homosexuality and that has not changed since.

Officially, in the 1960’s Chairman Mao believed in castration of “sexual deviants” (source Randy Shilts. Author of “Conduct Unbecoming”)  . Dr Zhusi, a Chinese physician that lived in revolutionary China and fled to America during the Cultural Revolution, said in his book “The Private Life of Chairman Mao”, that the Chairman had sex with young men.

When I interviewed several Chinese married men from 2014-2018, they all told similar stories of discrimination. They married women because they felt had no choice. Lesbians did the same. A GAY Wedding or just living  together seemed impossible. They were sure the family would no longer speak to them, they would be outed at work and possibly fired and/or never have an opportunity for job advancement. They would be outcasts and most Chinese women and men feel this way still today. There are pockets of more acceptability in parts of Beijing, Hong Kong and Shanghai.

One single man told he did tell his family he was gay and they immediately called his employer and outed him purposely, and then they forbad him from leaving the house for 2 days. The family reads all his texts. He is 32 years old. He was devastated and is now trying to find a way to immigrate to another country. He fears he will be forced (black-mailed by family) into therapy.

I spoke to 2 other men who were granted political asylum in the USA, one in 2018 and the other in 2016. Its’ unclear how much longer the USA will allow asylum to LGBT in the future.

In 2018, President Xi has ordered the media to further censor the LGBT themes in the movies, Internet and on television programs. Gays can no longer be portrayed in the creative arts.They are edited out of any international or national programs. (Source: BBC. 11/18 issue)

Reports indicated Xi is ordering the increased censorship not because of his distaste of LGBTQs per se, but rather because of risks of activism and groups assembling.

An example of this would be a 2018 song contest shown produced by Eurovision in China (similar to “American Idol” or “Voice”), in which singers from many countries show their skills. The Irish male contestant had 2 gay-appearing dancers in the backdrop waving the rainbow flag. This skit/song was deleted and not shown to Chinese viewers.

There are first-hand reports from gays who have been forced to undergo gay conversion therapy (source Human Rights Watch, HRW) . The country’s controversial practice has long been known about, but the HRW study shows a look rarely shared from China.

“Gay conversion therapy” has been declared unethical, unscientific and harmful according to he World Psychiatric Association – and it is effectively illegal in China, yet still occurs. The case studies details severe abuse, forced medication and electric shock therapy taking place in Chinese hospitals. Some hospitals recently stopped doing this.

According to the advocacy director of the gay rights programmed at HRW, Boris Dittrich, it is also profitable. Doctors and clinics can charge up to 30,000 yuan ($4,530; £3,440) to “treat” gay people.The group is urging the Chinese government to end to such the abuse. It appears the opposite is occurring under Xi.

Abuse at the hospitals is terrible. HRW says “11 of those interviewed were forced to take medication without being informed about its purpose or side-effects.One 29-year-old gay man who underwent “treatment” at a public hospital in Fujian province three years ago said the doctors and nurses did not tell him what pills he was taking.

HRW continues their story and I quote them. “They just told me they were supposed to be good for me and help with the progress of the ‘treatment’,” he explained.. Zhang Zhikun, a transgender woman, said she was forced to watch gay porn while being injected with a “colorless liquid”. Five of those interviewed were subjected to electric shocks while being shown images or videos – or given verbal descriptions – of homosexual acts.

Gong Lei described his experience.”The doctor asked me to relax because I was going to practice some kind of hypnosis and to think about sex scenes with my boyfriend – at that moment I felt pain in both wrists. I did not know what was happening.”

Another interviewee remembered going through nine electroshock sessions during his two-month “treatment”. ( end HRC quote) HRC contends with their story of the hospital abuse. One patient said “My wrists and arms felt numb, my head too. But the most painful part was my stomach.”

in 2016 the World Psychiatric Association said “so-called treatments of homosexuality can create a setting in which prejudice and discrimination flourish, and they can be potentially harmful”.All of those interviewed told HRW that they were forced to have conversion therapy. Parents are ashamed their kids are LGBT.

All this homophobia in China is interesting. In past dynasty’s China accepted homosexuality with graphic art and written history, with homosexuality being accepted as a way of life. When England took over in 1839 and western thinking took hold, Chinese adopted the Victorian way of thinking about homosexuality and that has not changed since.

One lesbian said was under considerable intimidation  from her parents to have the treatment after outing herself.”My mom started screaming about unfortunate things happening to our family. My dad said he did not know how to continue living in this world.”

She said that her parents feared “facing other family members if people found out I was lesbian”. She felt backed into a corner by her parents and, reluctantly, attended the “gay conversion therapy” clinic.Zhang Zhikun went to so-called therapy sessions at a state-owned hospital in Shenzhen in 2012 under pressure from her parents.

“There wasn’t really much I could do to change my parents’ mind. I knew it was not going to work if I kept resisting their pressure.”  In some  conversion therapy “doctors” use brain-wash techniques to convince patients they will get AIDs if they don’t convert. Most of those forced to undergo therapy say they were subjected to verbal harassment and insults during treatment.

Zhang Zhikun said she was told by her doctor: “If you do not change [your sexuality], you will get sick and die of Aids.”She was also recounted emotional blackmail from those treating her.”Have you ever considered the happiness of your parents?” she was asked.

A gay man from Hebei province was told: “If you feel like having sex with another man you are sick.”

So as we here in the USA  we worry about a supreme court that might overturn some or all of our rights. Awareness of much more discriminatory practices in the worlds can not and should not go unnoticed. Gay weddings in China? Probably not for years.


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Google reviews

Google reviews

Posted by on May 8, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

 Google Reviews

Our verified Google reviews ( click to see) are 5 stars with over 20 verified customers commenting about us.

At Gay Hawaii Wedding  we are thrilled with the 5.0 score. These reviews are from confirmed customers ( with full names and their email addresses ) over the last years. We have been in business for 24 years on Maui. We have done over 8000 gay and straight weddings on Maui.

We started performing commitment ceremonies in 1994 and have been a leader in the march toward marriage equality in Hawaii, advocating through letter writing campaigns, public awareness and by lobbying our legislators. There is no better place for a destination wedding and honeymoon than Maui, a gay-friendly island. We were featured on NPR Radio Hawaii, USA Today, LA Times, Frontier Magazine, Go Gay. We had to start turning  down interviews as it was too time consuming for us and we had weddings to do!

In the 1990’s the Maui Wedding Association had meetings to ascertain if they should support gay marriage. We were the only wedding company that wanted it. Some ministers refused to perform a gay wedding, civil union or commitment ceremony.  We were targets of physical threats and verbal abuse. Now, these companies have ads on google saying they perform gay weddings. The reason? money! We are sad to report this but it is true. ( There was an internal debate whether we should have a negative post about this issue and just “move on”, but we felt it was our responsibility to tell the truth about the past.

It is worth noting that other wedding companies advertise gay Maui gay weddings but most are not LGBT owned and/or operated. If you have questions please email us for a prompt response or call toll-free at 1-800-859-0072. Our direct/international phone is 808-891-1208. Mahalo



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Gay Marriage and Gay Rights

Gay Marriage and Gay Rights

Posted by on May 22, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

Gay Marriage and Gay Rights

Gay descrimination in Iran

Impossible to be gay in Iran

Gay Marriage and Gay Rights have come so far in the United States, but there is still so much to do in the USA and in the world. My Iranian friend in the UK tells me of the terrible things occuring in Iran. The UK has accepted political asylum from gays and lesbians and are giving them shelter from the oppressive and homophobic regime. There is an organization in the UK that needs all of our help.

Mazyar Shirali, the Director of  LGBT Asylum Seeker Social Group in the says ” We now have need of some further support! Our organisation continues to help those LGBT clients, who are seeking sanctuary in the UK, to navigate the complex asylum process & to integrate into the local community. The good work we are already doing would be greatly enhanced if we had our own computer, scanner, printer & fax machine. We would be so grateful if friends & well-wishers could donate funds or equipment to achieve this goal.”

Gay Marriage and Gay Rights in Iran? No. What does the Iranian government do to gays and lesbians? If they find out a person is gay the person is given 2 choices only. #1- get a sex change! The mullahs agree that a person born with a deformity can have a sex change. The Koran allows this. Option #2 – go to prison for an indefinite time. Many gays are Desperately trying  to leave Iran using a dangerous escape route. They are leaving their loved ones; their family who they may never see again, their jobs, and their life.

So as we celebrate  gay weddings in the USA and Europe, another reality is occurring that needs more attention than to marriage equality in Hawaii and the USA. Spread the word and hear their cries for help.

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Gay Wedding Video

Posted by on Feb 2, 2016 in Blog | 0 comments

gay weddings on maui show on videoGay Wedding Video

We wanted to provide a taste of what a Gay Hawaii Wedding looks like. This video is a short snippet of a wedding and honeymoon on Maui. See a Hawaiian wedding at

The Gay Wedding Video shows what is like to arrive in Paradise driving your a cool convertible to the resort. The wedding snippets show the chant of the Hawaiian officiate and the beautiful tropical Hawaiian flowers.

A Hawaii Wedding is different than in most parts of the country. With year-round warm weather and romantic  beaches, wedding couples opt out of church weddings for the most part, and have their wedding on a beautiful  Maui beach. The ceremony begins with a welcome by the officiant, the beautiful lei exchange which has so much significance in Hawaii, the Hawaii Wedding vows, and then the ring exchange.

Couples are pronounced at the end however they want. It seems most couples like being pronounced “wife and wife” or “husband and husband”.  Some couples like being pronounced “partners united in love”

If you decide on a video, Package #4 includes it along with photography. You are professionally “miked” and the audio is crystal clear. The video is broadcast quality (not the shaking and bad audio of an amateur) After the ceremony he shoots fun, romantic shots of you and your family/friends, all of it edited together with music and titles. It is something to been treasured for a lifetime, and in the future couples  play it back to hear the voices of each another saying their vows, etc, and play it at their reception for those who could not attend.  All of our couples over the years have been glad they did this.) Please advise.


In any event, the Gay Wedding video of a Hawaii Wedding is pretty cool. Take a look at it and let us know.

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Gay marriage still shunned

Posted by on Dec 23, 2015 in Blog | 0 comments

Although great progress has been made in the world with gay marriage recognition, still most counties disallow it. Discrimination is still rampant in Africa, Asia, the Middle East and South America. Studies have shown that countries that do allow gay marriage have stability, less gay promiscuity, and zero change in the straight culture of marriage.

Perhaps the greatest LGBT struggle of today is in the extreme Muslim countries. Gays from Iran and other anti-gay countries are obtaining asylum in the USA and European countries. They face forced sex change operations or jail just for being who they are. This author spoke to one Iranian man who was just granted asylum in USA. He said he was so happy to be leaving but thinks he may never see his family again.  When asked where he was going to be placed by the US consulate in USA he said he did not know, and did not care as long as it was the USA.  It reminded me of all the problems we have,  how fortunate many of us are to live in the USA or Europe.

Gay marriage is just the first step for us in America and Europe. We must help our gay brothers and sisters in any way. We at will not stop for just marriage equality but will do whatever we can to help those who live in real fear.

Gay marriage discriminationMuch research on the gay  marriage issue has been completed. There is a real trend of increasing support for LGBT marriage on our planet.  Much of the research that was performed in 2nd and 3rd world nations countries from 2000-2010.  It shows most people are “okay” with gay marriage. The support hits all demographics: age, gender, education. Yet, politicians from around the world do not proceed with enacting legislation. China, the worlds most populous nation still has not moved towards legalization and the LGBT community remains in the closet due to fear of losing ones job to being shunned by their family and friends. One Chinese man told this author, he may not lose his job if he was “found out” but he definitely would not get a job promotion. Many Chinese LGBT marry the opposite sex for fear of societal and family discrimination and a desire to lead a life that is easier. But there is great sadness.

So, with the USA making gay marriage legal, will the rest of the world remain in the discriminatory mode, or will bigotry become a thing of the past?  Time will tell.


Updated May 13, 2016

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Gay weddings challenged

Posted by on Nov 21, 2015 in Blog | 0 comments

February, 2015, Gay weddings in some states are being challenged. Alabama has become the next state to try to hinder gay weddings. Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore has decided to ignore the US Supreme Court’s ruling 18 months ago that legalized gay marriage in all 50 states. Many Alabama judges are agreeing with the Chief and not issuing marriage licenses to all couples regardless of their preference of who they want to marry.

Already, some gay couples are finding it more difficult to find a legal authorized State employee to provide them their rights. Couples are having to drive longer distances and wait. The homophobic chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court does not agree with the US government.  “At this point, I am not defying the United States Supreme Court,” the 68-year-old Christian judge and Republican said. He said “It couldn’t serve as precedent because we ruled first,”  Justice Moore referred to the Supreme Court ruling, Obergefell vs. Hodges.President Obama on gay marriage in Hawaii

Gay weddings have been occurring in every State. In Hawaii, Gay Hawaii Wedding has coordinated over 800 legal gay weddings since 2013. Alabama gay marriage is threatened by this activist because of his religious beliefs. We in Hawaii welcome all gay Alabama couples to come to Hawaii and get married and honeymoon if they so desire. In the meantime, we continue to offer moral support and informing the LGBT community on what is occurring in Alabama.

Update: Jan 21, 2105, President Obama said today the US supreme court decided the case for all 50 states and that Alabama will eventually have to comply.


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