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Gay Weddings in China?

Gay Weddings in China?

Posted by on Aug 10, 2022 in Blog | 0 comments

Gay Weddings in China?

Gay Weddings in China? It does not seen possible anytime in the near future. USA and the 24 other countries recognize gay marriage on our planet. 175 Counties prohibit it. (Source Wikipedia, 10/18)

As we celebrate 8 years of equality in the USA (2015) , many tend to forget the widespread discrimination, torture, and murder of gay women, gay men and Trans elsewhere.

When a Hawaii wedding company married 2 gay men from Beijing it was “remarkable”.  They came to Hawaii just to get legally married. Their marriage will be recognized in the USA and other counties that recognize gay marriage. They know it will not be recognized in China, but they wanted to affirm their love for each other, and to know they are married in some places in the world. They requested their names and photos not be released.

Chinese government says no to gay marriage

In China, discrimination of LGBT people is increasing. Although China may portray itself as “upcoming modern”,  forced shock therapy still exists  in some places as does job loss, housing discrimination and media censorship. Many Chinese families and parents ban gays from their family unless they recant their  preference. According to the Human Right Campaign (HRC 2014, ) 8o% to 90% of gays are married to the opposite sex because of this treatment in China.

All this homophobia in China is interesting. In China’s past, dynasty’s accepted homosexuality with graphic art and written history documenting homosexuality as being accepted, and as a way of life.When England took over much of China in the 1839 war, and western thinking took hold, the Chinese adopted their Victorian way of thinking about homosexuality and that has not changed since.

Officially, in the 1960’s Chairman Mao believed in castration of “sexual deviants” (source Randy Shilts. Author of “Conduct Unbecoming”)  . Dr Zhusi, a Chinese physician that lived in revolutionary China and fled to America during the Cultural Revolution, said in his book “The Private Life of Chairman Mao”, that the Chairman had sex with young men.

When I interviewed several Chinese married men from 2014-2018, they all told similar stories of discrimination. They married women because they felt had no choice. Lesbians did the same. A GAY Wedding or just living together seemed impossible. They were sure the family would no longer speak to them, they would be outed at work and possibly fired and/or never have an opportunity for job advancement. They would be outcasts and most Chinese women and men feel this way still today. There are pockets of more acceptability in parts of Beijing, Hong Kong and Shanghai.

One single man told he did tell his family he was gay and they immediately called his employer and outed him purposely, and then they forbad him from leaving the house for 2 days. The family reads all his texts. He is 32 years old. He was devastated and is now trying to find a way to immigrate to another country. He fears he will be forced (black-mailed by family) into therapy.

I spoke to 2 other men who were granted political asylum in the USA, one in 2018 and the other in 2016. Its’ unclear how much longer the USA will allow asylum to LGBT in the future.

In 2018, President Xi has ordered the media to further censor the LGBT themes in the movies, Internet and on television programs. Gays can no longer be portrayed in the creative arts. They are edited out of any international or national programs. (Source: BBC. 11/18 issue)

Reports indicated Xi is ordering the increased censorship not because of his distaste of LGBTQs per se, but rather because of risks of activism and groups assembling.

An example of this would be a 2018 song contest shown produced by Eurovision in China (similar to “American Idol” or “Voice”), in which singers from many countries show their skills. The Irish male contestant had 2 gay-appearing dancers in the backdrop waving the rainbow flag. This skit/song was deleted and not shown to Chinese viewers.

There are first-hand reports from gays who have been forced to undergo gay conversion therapy (source Human Rights Watch, HRW) . The country’s controversial practice has long been known about, but the HRW study shows a look rarely shared from China.

“Gay conversion therapy” has been declared unethical, unscientific and harmful according to he World Psychiatric Association – and it is effectively illegal in China, yet still occurs. The case studies details severe abuse, forced medication and electric shock therapy taking place in Chinese hospitals. Some hospitals recently stopped doing this.

According to the advocacy director of the gay rights programmed at HRW, Boris Dittrich, it is also profitable. Doctors and clinics can charge up to 30,000 yuan ($4,530; £3,440) to “treat” gay people. The group is urging the Chinese government to end to such the abuse. It appears the opposite is occurring under Xi.

Abuse at the hospitals is terrible. HRW says “11 of those interviewed were forced to take medication without being informed about its purpose or side-effects. One 29-year-old gay man who underwent “treatment” at a public hospital in Fujian province three years ago said the doctors and nurses did not tell him what pills he was taking.

HRW continues their story and I quote them. “They just told me they were supposed to be good for me and help with the progress of the ‘treatment’,” he explained. Zhang Zhikun, a transgender woman, said she was forced to watch gay porn while being injected with a “colorless liquid”. Five of those interviewed were subjected to electric shocks while being shown images or videos – or given verbal descriptions – of homosexual acts.

Gong Lei described his experience.”The doctor asked me to relax because I was going to practice some kind of hypnosis and to think about sex scenes with my boyfriend – at that moment I felt pain in both wrists. I did not know what was happening.”

Another interviewee remembered going through nine electroshock sessions during his two-month “treatment”. ( end HRC quote) HRC contends with their story of the hospital abuse. One patient said “My wrists and arms felt numb, my head too. But the most painful part was my stomach.”

in 2016 the World Psychiatric Association said “so-called treatments of homosexuality can create a setting in which prejudice and discrimination flourish, and they can be potentially harmful”.All of those interviewed told HRW that they were forced to have conversion therapy. Parents are ashamed their kids are LGBT.

All this homophobia in China is interesting. In past dynasty’s China accepted homosexuality with graphic art and written history, with homosexuality being accepted as a way of life. When England took over in 1839 and western thinking took hold, Chinese adopted the Victorian way of thinking about homosexuality and that has not changed since.

One lesbian said was under considerable intimidation  from her parents to have the treatment after outing herself.”My mom started screaming about unfortunate things happening to our family. My dad said he did not know how to continue living in this world.”

She said that her parents feared “facing other family members if people found out I was lesbian”. She felt backed into a corner by her parents and, reluctantly, attended the “gay conversion therapy” clinic.Zhang Zhikun went to so-called therapy sessions at a state-owned hospital in Shenzhen in 2012 under pressure from her parents.

“There wasn’t really much I could do to change my parents’ mind. I knew it was not going to work if I kept resisting their pressure.”  In some  conversion therapy “doctors” use brain-wash techniques to convince patients they will get AIDs if they don’t convert. Most of those forced to undergo therapy say they were subjected to verbal harassment and insults during treatment.

Zhang Zhikun said she was told by her doctor: “If you do not change [your sexuality], you will get sick and die of Aids.”She was also recounted emotional blackmail from those treating her.”Have you ever considered the happiness of your parents?” she was asked.

A gay man from Hebei province was told: “If you feel like having sex with another man you are sick.”

So as we here in the USA  we worry about a supreme court that might overturn some or all of our rights. Awareness of much more discriminatory practices in the world can not and should not go unnoticed. Gay weddings in China? Probably not for years.

Copyright 2022, Hawaii Wedding and Vow Renewal. DBA

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Gay Weddings Under Attack

Posted by on Jul 29, 2022 in Blog | 0 comments

  • Gay Weddings are under attack again after the far right  “conservatives” have been emboldened after Roe vs. Wade was overturned by the “Supreme” Court.
Just when LGBT people thought the government thought they were equal, the evangelical lobby is trying hard to get Senators from voting in favor for the Equality Act.
Complacency among some in the LGBT community is seen as an opportunity to pursue a repeal of the law. GOP Sens. Mitt Romney of Utah and Roy Blunt of Missouri also said they hadn’t decided what they will do. Apparently heterosexuals get more rights than the LGBT community.

Sen. Todd Young, a Republican from Indiana, said he would have “more to say” about the same-sex marriage bill after the Senate finishes work later this week on a bill on the floor now that he co-sponsored to increase the production of semiconductor chips.

Iowa Republican Sen. Joni Ernst said she is talking to her constituents about the issue. “I’m hearing from both sides right now. I’ve just got to hear from Iowans,” she said. One Iowan this reporter spoke to from Iowa City said ” who does Ernst think she is? Why should one person or a group of people decide who gets equal rights”?
 The Supreme Court issued its Obergefell v. Hodges decision, which ruled that states must allow same-sex couples to marry. A Pew Forum poll before the decision found that most Americans (57%) thought same-sex marriage should be legal, but less than a third of evangelicals agreed. Many are now asking questions about the difference between civil and religious marriage, the place of religious dissent on same-sex marriage, and pastoral care.
Judge Alito insisted that the right to same-sex marriage was not among those rights “deeply rooted” in history and tradi­tion. Notably, he harped on “the newness of the right,” noting it was “contrary to long-estab­lished tradi­tion.”Alito voted against gay marriage in 2015.

Ted Cruz says Supreme Court was ‘clearly wrong’ about the same-sex marriage ruling.

Cruz, the Texan senator who headed south when the Texas electrical grid fried and it got cold in Texas, says this issue is too hot for him to figure out.  Cruz and the Senate will vote soon, and we will find out if gay weddings are going to continue to occur in the USA. Cruz actively courts the evangelical vote.

The Roman Catholic Church cannot bless same-sex marriages, no matter how stable or positive the couples’ relationships are, the Vatican said on Monday. The message, approved by Pope Francis, came in response to questions about whether the church should reflect the increasing social and legal acceptance of same-sex unions. The battle of Love vs Hate continues,.


Sources: Paul Frier : New Yorker MGinze,

Copyright: Hawaii Wedding and Vow renewal


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Grand Wailea Spa

Posted by on Jan 20, 2020 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

Grand Wailea Spa

The Waldorf Astoria Grand Wailea’s Spa is the best in the State.

This pacakge for both men  ( or women if they like ) includes the Exclusive Terme’ hydrotherapy at the Spa, a unique haven of water therapies featuring a Roman tub and including saunas, eucalyptus steam room, Swiss jet showers, cascading waterfalls, five specialty baths, and Japanese Furo soaking tubs

After the terme, both men ( or women who don’t want salon services) get a 50 minute massage at the Spa. There is a locker room to change into your wedding clothes, and then you can just walk out to the beach and get married!. Elegant, upscale at the Waldorf Astoria  Grand Wailea

See more details of this package here. 


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Google reviews

Google reviews

Posted by on May 8, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

 Google Reviews

Our verified Google reviews ( click to see) are 5 stars with over 20 verified customers commenting about us.

At Gay Hawaii Wedding  we are thrilled with the 5.0 score. These reviews are from confirmed customers ( with full names and their email addresses ) over the last years. We have been in business for 24 years on Maui. We have done over 8000 gay and straight weddings on Maui.

We started performing commitment ceremonies in 1994 and have been a leader in the march toward marriage equality in Hawaii, advocating through letter writing campaigns, public awareness and by lobbying our legislators. There is no better place for a destination wedding and honeymoon than Maui, a gay-friendly island. We were featured on NPR Radio Hawaii, USA Today, LA Times, Frontier Magazine, Go Gay. We had to start turning  down interviews as it was too time consuming for us and we had weddings to do!

In the 1990’s the Maui Wedding Association had meetings to ascertain if they should support gay marriage. We were the only wedding company that wanted it. Some ministers refused to perform a gay wedding, civil union or commitment ceremony.  We were targets of physical threats and verbal abuse. Now, these companies have ads on google saying they perform gay weddings. The reason? money! We are sad to report this but it is true. ( There was an internal debate whether we should have a negative post about this issue and just “move on”, but we felt it was our responsibility to tell the truth about the past.

It is worth noting that other wedding companies advertise gay Maui gay weddings but most are not LGBT owned and/or operated. If you have questions please email us for a prompt response or call toll-free at 1-800-859-0072. Our direct/international phone is 808-891-1208. Mahalo



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Gay Marriage and Gay Rights

Gay Marriage and Gay Rights

Posted by on May 22, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

Gay Marriage and Gay Rights

Gay descrimination in Iran

Impossible to be gay in Iran

Gay Marriage and Gay Rights have come so far in the United States, but there is still so much to do in the USA and in the world. My Iranian friend in the UK tells me of the terrible things occuring in Iran. The UK has accepted political asylum from gays and lesbians and are giving them shelter from the oppressive and homophobic regime. There is an organization in the UK that needs all of our help.

Mazyar Shirali, the Director of  LGBT Asylum Seeker Social Group in the says ” We now have need of some further support! Our organisation continues to help those LGBT clients, who are seeking sanctuary in the UK, to navigate the complex asylum process & to integrate into the local community. The good work we are already doing would be greatly enhanced if we had our own computer, scanner, printer & fax machine. We would be so grateful if friends & well-wishers could donate funds or equipment to achieve this goal.”

Gay Marriage and Gay Rights in Iran? No. What does the Iranian government do to gays and lesbians? If they find out a person is gay the person is given 2 choices only. #1- get a sex change! The mullahs agree that a person born with a deformity can have a sex change. The Koran allows this. Option #2 – go to prison for an indefinite time. Many gays are Desperately trying  to leave Iran using a dangerous escape route. They are leaving their loved ones; their family who they may never see again, their jobs, and their life.

So as we celebrate  gay weddings in the USA and Europe, another reality is occurring that needs more attention than to marriage equality in Hawaii and the USA. Spread the word and hear their cries for help.

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